Author: Jonny Blair

This is a planned collection and ideas for the next poetry to come. Some of them are completed already but will remain unreleased. The title is easy – Nazzbal – the 7 African countries I backpacked through in February 2020 – Namibia, Angola, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Botswana, (South) Africa, Lesotho. I wrote these on tissues during that trip.

1.A Place of Innocence
2.Unique to Who
3.Reasons For Universal Truth
4.Proof of a Bird
5.Commercial Dynamics
6.Spirit of Adventure
7.Doesn’t Sound Good Enough
8.Fan of Love
9.Unpainted Fortress
10. Forty Seven India House
11.Books In THE Wall
12.Others To Be Added
13.You’re Superglue
14.Don’t Look Like a Zebra
15.Golden Sign
16.Crackaday
17.Coincidences

Short clips:

Whose library of passion will dictate the way I feel?
You couldn’t see the blow he was to deal
And fell onto a cursing hand who made you kneel
When the sun goes down in your town, it’s for real
–
Books in the wall don’t say it all about the man you are
Guests on a shelf of borrowed wealth until your devil calls
He might never call
Sha la la la

//

It’s a pleasant place I find myself in
Belfast city to not get lost in

//

It can blow your mind
It will upset the odds
And my Mum could dance
But she don’t sing
And my Dad will write
But he won’t budge

//

Although I have been writing poetry and lyrics sine I was about 7 years old, my first compilation wasn’t until I was 17. The oldest songs on this I remember writing were:

• New Jersey Girls (written in Florida, June 1996)
• Hope and Dream (written in a room at Bangor Grammar School, late 1996)
• (Grow?) (written in a room at Bangor Grammar School, late 1996)
• Escobar’s Own Goal (written during the World Cup, June 1994)

I don’t remember much about writing this collection, “Too Many Promises”, but I was averaging a new poem a week from September 1997 onwards. No idea why the track order is the way it is, nor why I put Grow in brackets with a question mark after it. I recorded this using an old cassette recorder in Bangor, Northern Ireland. My personal favourite song here is “Rare Bite of Pressure” which I have also placed on YouTube (see below). What is also strange for me is that the collection is called “Too Many Promises” and without a song called that. So to put that right, when I made my next collection (Tape Two – Paranoia Creeps In/PCI – May – July 1998), I wrote a song called “Too Many Promises” and made it the first song of the next collection. I wrote most of these in a blue hut at Belvoir Training Centre in the Northern Irish capital city of Belfast.

TAPE 1 – JONNY BLAIR – TOO MANY PROMISES (September 1997 – March 1998)

SIDE A
1.No End
2.New Jersey Girls
3.At Random
4.(Grow?)
5.Rare Bite of Pressure (October 1997)
6.Escobar’s Own Goal
7.Work For A Wage (Don’t Fall Away)
8.Next In Line
9.Method)
10.Don’t Join The Queue For Suicide

SIDE B
1.Generation Gap
2.Hope and Dream
3.No Tomorrow
———————–
4.Random Medley
-Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head (Burt Bacharach)
-A Design For Life (Nicky Wire)
-Stand By Me (Noel Gallagher)
-A Rare Bite of Pressure (demo)
-No Tomorrow (demo)
-At Random (demo – left off the album and never put on another compilation)
-Some Might Say (Noel Gallagher)
5.The Truth (demo – later appeared on Tape Four – Standing On The Sun)
6.Random Medley 2
-Imagine (John Lennon)
-Staring At The Sun (U2)
-Suicide Is Painless (Johnny Mandel)
-Live Forever (Noel Gallagher)

TAPE ONE – TOO MANY PROMISES

SIDE A

1.NO END (Jonny Blair & Michael McClelland, 1997)

The song is about the troubles in Northern Ireland and the fact that they seem to be never ending (or they did in 1997). Most of this song was written at school and tech and co-written with Michael McClelland on a train from Belfast Central to Bangor in September 1997 after attending a NIFSA (Northern Ireland Football Supporters Association) meeting. I think I stole the line “talking’s no good without action” from an Ian Paisley quote on television. The first line for sure is based on Oasis song “Don’t Look Back in Anger”, sorry Noel. Surprisingly I found two recorded versions of this but both times I forgot the original lyrics completely.

It’s hard to tell if it’s day or night because everyone is kept in the dark
All around us the people are sleeping despite what they think they know

Papers only tell the truth
TV too, so what’s the use?

I’ve looked everywhere but I’ve found no end
The Godfathers have control
I’ve looked all around and there is no exit
Talking’s no good without action
Talking’s no good without action
Talking’s no good without action
In this world with no heaven, I’m reading the book with no end

It’s easy to walk out when the enemy comes and that’s not gonna help (us all/to solve)
The problem lies with the new arrivals and their comrades underground

The leaders only disagree
Harmony with compliments please

I’ve looked everywhere but I’ve found no end
The Godfathers have control
I’ve looked all around and there is no exit
Talking’s no good without action
Talking’s no good without action
Talking’s no good without action
In this world with no heaven, I’m reading the book with no end

I’ve looked everywhere but I’ve found no end
The Godfathers have control
I’ve looked all around and there is no exit
Talking’s no good without action
Talking’s no good without action
Talking’s no good without action
In this world with no heaven, I’m reading the book with no end

Even though I played the fool, I wrote this song at school

2.NEW JERSEY GIRLS (Jonny Blair, July 1996)

I remember meeting two beautiful New Jersey girls in the Epcot Centre in Orlando, Florida in July 1996. We chatted about life – they were the same age as me. I met them twice on the same holiday but I never saw them again. In those days there was no Facebook and I never asked for their addresses, in those days no mobile phones either. I don’t even remember their names.

I don’t see them anymore
And as the days go on
I think of my New Jersey Girls
And where have they gone?

I’ve seen them twice
But never since
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
I need your comfort now
I need your comfort now

Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Cos I still think of you

Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
New Jersey Girls come back to me
New Jersey Girls come back to me

I only have my memories and as the days go by
I long for my New Jersey Girls to fall from the sky

I hear them talk
I see them smile
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
I’m running out of time

Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Cos I still think of you

Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
New Jersey Girls come back to me
New Jersey Girls come back to me

Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
Where are my New Jersey Girls?
I need your comfort now
I need your comfort now

I could search the world for my New Jersey Girls

3.AT RANDOM (Jonny Blair, June 1997)

A song about life in general and spontaneousness. Waiting for something to happen that is not going to.

A lifelong treasure is hard to abandon
Nothing hurts as much as losing touch
Everything around me happens at random
Why is life so ironic?

But why do all the people in the world make a mountain out of a molehill?

I never found an answer to the question I did pose
I’m waiting for the sun to come and I don’t think he knows
No I don’t think he knows
I don’t think he knows

I never got the feeling I was sinking in my clothes
I’m waiting for the sun to come and I don’t think he knows
No I don’t think he knows
I don’t think he know – ow – ow -ow -ow -ows

An unclear message is hard to decipher
Nothing hurts as much as messing up
Everything around me happens at random
Why is life so spontaneous?

But why do all the people in the world make a mountain out of a molehill?

I never found an answer and I think it knid of shows
I’m waiting for the sun to come and I don’t think he knows
No I don’t think he knows
I don’t think he knows

I got this dizzy feeling from my head down to my toes
I’m waiting for the sun to come and I don’t think he knows
No I don’t think he knows
I don’t think he know – ow – ow -ow -ow -ows

But why do all the people in the world make a mountain out of a molehill?

I never found an answer and I think it kind of shows
I’m waiting for the sun to come and I don’t think he knows
No I don’t think he knows
I don’t think he knows

I think I’ll find the answer where the wind of fortune blows
I’m waiting for the sun to come and I don’t think he knows
No I don’t think he knows
I don’t think he know – ow – ow -ow -ow -ows

Everything around us happens at random – that’s the way it goes

I’m waiting for the sun to come and I don’t think he knows
No I don’t think he knows
I don’t think he know – ow – ow -ow -ow -ows

4.(GROW?) (Jonny Blair, September 1997)

This is about being left out of something, growing up, getting old and vanity.

Fear the future cos you know the truth
Slowly make your way to youth
What’s the point in watching the end if you don’t know the beginning?

I left my mirror on the shelf
So I don’t recognise myself

Life can be so cruel when you’re out of fuel
And the garage that sells it, is closed
And you’re out of fuel in your duel with life

Fear the future like you did the past
Give yourself a smile at last

What’s the point in watching the end if you don’t know the beginning?

I left my mirror on the shelf
Because I don’t recognise myself

Life can be so cruel when you’re out of fuel
And the garage that sells it, is closed
And you’re out of fuel in your duel with life

You’re out of fuel in your duel with life
Yeah you’re out of fuel in your duel with life

5.RARE BITE OF PRESSURE (Jonny Blair, October 1997)

This song is actually about playing football and enjoying a “rare bite of pressure” on the pitch trying to get a counter attack goal. The song is also autobiographical, about myself, Northern Ireland’s past and pride. I vividly remembering writing this in the canteen at Belvoir Tech in Belfast. As I was pouring salt on my lunch, I noticed it said “Welsh Rarebit” on the label. I was originally going to call this “rare bit of pressure” but the bite word won me over.

Hope lies flat on a poisoned surface
Everybody’s feeling nervous
Find yourself a moment of peace in a war-drenched society

Cry if you’re not man enough
You can smile, but I’m fed up

In a rare bite of pressure, I’m down on my knees again
And just for good measure, I’m forfeiting love for fame
In a rare bite of pressure, I’m losing my way again
Despite all my effort, looks kill in the face again

Fame sits still in an empty coffin
Everybody’s doing nothing
Find yourself a moment of rest in a state of downward health

Cry if you’re not mad enough
You can smile but I’m fed up

In a rare bite of pressure, I’m dead on the floor again
My infinite pleasure has closed its door again
In a rare bite of pressure, I’m down on my knees again
And just for good measure, I’m trying to ease the pain
In a rare bite of pressure, I’m finding my feet again
But in local weather, I’m drying up with rain

Cold feet might as well be warm feet
On Paracodol Sunday mornings
Find yourself a glimmer of hope in life’s narrow telescope

Danger tastes all troublesome
Fortune is a contagion

In a rare bite of pressure, I’m down on my knees again
And just for good measure, I’m forfeiting love for fame
In a rare bite of pressure, I’m losing my way again
Despite all my effort, looks kill in the face again

Trouble tastes all dangerous
Rhinocerous platypus

In a rare bite of pressure, I’m feeling the strain again
And just for good measure, I’m going to win this game
In a rare bite of pressure, I’m down on the ground again
And just for good measure, I’m giving up love for fame

In a rare bite of pressure, I’m four foot in love for fame
And just for good measure, I’m looking the other way

I want to do better but this rare bite of pressure is begging to differ

6.ESCOBAR’S OWN GOAL (Jonny Blair June 1994 – February 1998)

A blatant tribute to Andres Escobar, the Colombian footballer who played in the 1990 and 1994 World Cup. He was shot dead in his home town of Medellin after scoring an own goal at the 1994 World Cup. Colombia were big favourites to win the tournament with stars such as Carlos Valderamma, Freddy Rincon and Faustino Asprilla. However they lost their first match 3-1 to Romania, then 2-1 to USA which knocked them out. I felt very sad about Escobar’s Own Goal and death. I also remember how during my own football career, not once did I score an own goal, not even in park football, so I didn’t even know the feeling of that. I wanted the song to represent sorry and real life tragedy. The Manic Street Preachers inspired me to write this song about a real-life event which cut me deep. I started the poem in July 1994 but didn’t finish it and add guitar until February 1998.Escobar remains a hero to me.

There’s enough to hang onto in this life
So don’t let pain beat you again
I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time
Like an innocent victim
Like an innocent victim

I never thought the slightest error
Could result in mortal terror
I guess they proved me wrong
I guess they proved me wrong

Responsibility takes its toll
I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time
Like Escobar’s Own Goal
Like Escobar’s Own Goal
Like Escobar’s Own Goal

One more bed in hospital
One more unneeded funeral

Responsibility takes its toll
I’m just in the wrong place at the wrong time
Like Escobar’s Own Goal
Like Escobar’s Own Goal
Like Escobar’s Own Goal

For the sake of pride, don’t risk your life
It’s an expesnive swap
Like Escobar’s Own Goal
Like Escobar’s Own Goal
Like Escobar’s Own Goal

Escobar’s Own Goal wasn’t worth a soul

7.WORK FOR A WAGE (Jonny Blair, October 1997)

This was clearly written about the transition from being a student to working. “There’s pleasure in pressure” was one of my favourite lines that I wrote. The line “work for a wage” could also be swapped for “don’t fall away” but it sounded too much like an Oasis song title so I scrapped it. Plus, the line came from my grandfather, Samuel Blair who once told me to get out there into the world and “work for a wage”. He was right.

Something all young and guilty has taken over me
I feel the need to change my life and be what I want to be

Close your ears and lose your fears
Close your eyes and realise
Everyone is poised to take the blame

But there’s pleasure in pressure
Work for a wage
Everyone is poised to take the blame

When you reach that age
Work for a wage
Even if you’re begging for fame

Someone all smart and cocky is looking down on me
I feel the need to conquer them and be what I want to be

Close your ears and lose your fears
Close your eyes and visualise
Everyone is good enough for fame

But there’s pleasure in pressure
Work for a wage
Even if you’re begging for fame

If you need a change
Work for a wage
Even if you make a small mistake

But there’s pleasure in pressure
Work for a wage
Even if you’re calling out to fame

If you need a change
Work for a wage
Everyone is poised to take the blame
Everyone is poised to take the blame

8.NEXT IN LINE (Jonny Blair, Late 1997)

About being on the verge of death with no awareness of it at all.

From the beginning you’re nearing the end
You’re finding your feet in a world full of men
And you’ll be last to tell yourself
Cigarettes can harm your health

And you’re begging with time, while you’re waiting in vain
But you’re next in line, and it’s pouring with rain
But you’re next in line, and it’s pouring with rain

From the beginning you’re nearing the end
You’re finding your feet in a world full of men
And you’ll be last to tell yourself
Cigarettes can steal your wealth

And you’re feeling fine even though you suspect
That you’re next in line, for the final ascent
And you’re using your pride to avoid the fact
That you’re next in line, at the top of the pack

And you’re begging with time, while you’re waiting in vain
But you’re next in line, and it’s pouring with rain
But you’re next in line, and it’s pouring with rain

9.METHOD) (Jonny Blair, January 1998)

About drifting away. Inspiration came from watching a “Lean Cuisine” advertisement on UTV. Later when I worked in Tesco, there were actual left over piles of Lean Cuisine! I also liked the choral reference to the Oasis song Digsy’s dinner, which has “Lasagne” in it.

All of a sudden I feel sentimental
Life’s not as bad as I expected
There’s always something good ahead
But I get that feeling again

We’re all part of life’s protein
Left over piles of Lean Cuisine
A contagious drift of God’s disease
But I get that feeling again
I get that feeling again

Just for a second, I went nostalgic
Though I don’t believe in magic
There’s always something good ahead
But I get that feeling again

We’re all part of life’s protein
Left over piles of nicotine
A contagious drift of God’s disease
But I get that feeling again
I get that feeling again

A hole in the wall lets my mind drift
A hole in the wall lets my mind drift
A hole in the wall lets my mind drift
But I’ve got that feeling again
Yes I’ve got that feeling again

We’re all part of life’s protein
Left over piles of Lean cuisine
A message that Jesus sent
But I get that feeling again
I get that feeling again

A hole in the wall lets my mind drift
A hole in the wall lets my mind drift
A hole in the wall lets my mind drift
But I’ve got that feeling again
Yes I’ve got that old feeling again

A hole in the wall lets my mind drift
But I get that feeling again

10.DON’T JOIN THE QUEUE FOR SUICIDE (Jonny Blair, January 1998)

As the title suggests, this is an anti-suicide song inspired by and in the vein of R.E.M.’s Everybody Hurts.

Feeling down
Awake, alone
The world around is a danger zone
Resting near a living fear
Find yourself before you’re gone

When dreams stay in your sleep, don’t admit defeat
Rise up and bathe the world in light
Don’t drift out of sight
Don’t join the queue for suicide
Wait for yourself in paradise
it’s only a stone’s throw away
It’s only a stone’s throw away

Needing hope
An antidote
There’s no need to write a note
Looking vague, a living plague
Find yourself before you’re gone

When hope fades with the sun, don’t be outdone
Stay in the jungle where the big dogs run
Don’t drift out of sight
Don’t join the queue for suicide
Wait for yourself in paradise
It’s only a stone’s throw away
It’s only a hair’s breadth away

Don’t join the queue for suicide
Wait for yourself in paradise
It’s only a stone’s throw away
It’s only a hair’s breadth away

Don’t be joining that queue, it’s not the right thing to do

Don’t join the queue for suicide
Wait for yourself in paradise

SIDE B

1.GENERATION GAP (Jonny Blair, February 1998)

This was written about the Generation Gap between adults that were into the likes of the Beatles (George Harrison reference) to modern youths who are into Oasis (Noel Gallagher) and Manic Street Preachers (Nicky Wire). The song was no doubt inspired by my uncle Jack who was astounded that I could like “Don’t Look Back in Anger” (Oasis) more than “Imagine” by John Lennon. The former song stole the intro from the latter.

I’m trapped in a generation gap
I’m lost in frost
I can’t seem to tell

I’m trapped in a generation gap
I’m stuck in mud
I can’t see too well

There’s no comparison with George Harrison and Lennon and McCartney
But I’d rather listen to Gallagher any day with Wire and Finn
Cos I’m trapped in a generation gap
I’m lost in frost and I can’t seem to tell

There’s no comparison with George Harrison and Lennon and McCartney
But I’d rather listen to Gallagher any day with Wire and Finn

There’s no comparison with George Harrison and Lennon and McCartney
But I’d rather listen to Gallagher any day with Wire and Finn

It’s all because I’m trapped in a generation gap

2.HOPE AND DREAM (Jonny Blair, January 1997)

Originally entitled “It’s Not The End of The World (By Any Means)” which was inspired by and based upon R.E.M. song “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”. I wrote this at Bangor Grammar School. It is about going out, getting a job, being young and naive. It actually lasts about 12 minutes with a 2 minute intro. The reason for that was when I recorded it, I was obsessed with Oasis “Be Here Now” album and I loved the long songs. In the version on the tape, I played both rhythm guitar and lead, recording them in two takes and then recording over one another on an 8-track at Belvoir Tech in Belfast.

It’s the normal situation you find yourself in
The days are flying by, the night are passing in
Recovery is sweet but doesn’t make sense
And you think you’re lost forever
You’ve lost your grip forever

But you’ll never be a loser till you put yourself down
Hope and dream till your turn comes round
Life may be ba-ahad but…

It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

It’s not the end of the world by any means
There’s still ambition left
Even though you’re falling at the seams
You’ve still got dreams to fulfil
So it’s not the end of the world yet
It’s not the end of the world yet
It’s not the end of the world

It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

It happens all the time and you can’t look back
Your world is grey and your sky is black
Dreams all nightmares and there’s no relief
You don’t think you’ll survive
You don’t think you’ll stay alive

But you’ll never be a loser till you fall apart
Another job interview falls like a dart
Hold on cos, hold on cos…

It’s not the end of the world by any means
There’s still ambition left
Even though you’re falling at the seams
You’ve still got dreams to fulfil
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world

You’ve got no room for regret cos
It’s not the end of the world yet
It’s not the end of the world yet

It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

Don’t be as sad as you should be
Life’s not as bad as it could be

But you’ll never be a loser till you fall apart
Another job interview falls like a dart
Hold on cos, hold on cos…

It’s not the end of the world by any means
There’s still ambition left
Even though you’re falling at the seams
You’ve still got dreams to fulfil
And you’ve no room for regret cos
It’s not the end of the world yet
It’s not the end of the world yet

It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

Even though you’re down on your knees
You’ve got life in you yet
As far as you’re concerned
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

Don’t decline into self-relief
Hope and dream with firm belief
Hold on cos

It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world by any means
It’s not the end of the world

It’s not the end of the world by any means
There’s still ambition left
Even though you’re down on your knees
You’ve got life in you yet
And you’ve no room for regret cos
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world
It’s not the end of the world

3.NO TOMORROW (Jonny Blair, March 1998)

A love song about a relationship ending, hence the title, you know – no tomorrow! This is mostly poetry. I wrote it on transport (trains and buses) hence the metaphor travel references. I wrote and played it in arpeggio, as it seemed right.

Trust is a two way street; where love finds a way to meet
Love is a cul de sac; you must make your own way back

Don’t get stuck in the traffic
It could turn so tragically

I’m sorry to tell you that there’s no tomorrow
I’m sure better news is bound to follow

Luck is a roundabout; you don’t know where you’ll come out
But life is a motorway; you should cherish every day

Don’t come off at a junction
It could turn so emotionally blue

I’m sorry to tell you but there’s no tomorrow
I’m sure better news is bound to follow

I’m sorry to tell you but there’s no tomorrow
It was in the paper, so it must be true
I’m sorry to tell you but there’s no tomorrow
For me and you
Yeah there’s no tomorrow for me and you

4.SHORT MEDLEY/CLIPS OF RANDOM SONGS
-Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head (Burt Bacharach)
-A Design For Life (Nicky Wire)
-Stand By Me (Noel Gallagher)
-A Rare Bite of Pressure (demo)
-No Tomorrow (demo)
-At Random (demo – left off the album and never put on another compilation)
-Some Might Say (Noel Gallagher)

5.THE TRUTH (demo – later appeared on Tape Four – Standing On The Sun, Jonny Blair 26th May 1998)

So unusually for this song I have an exact date of writing it. It is about life in general, the ups and downs.

The day grows old over your bones
The night digs deep into your sleep
And all you get is a salary a week

You can love, but it’s not enough
Now you know why life is tough

Listen now if you’ve got a minute
Keep reaching till you find your limit
If you fail, it doesn’t matter
Because you can only go
Up or down on life’s ladder
On life’s ladder, on life’s ladder

If you fail, it doesn’t matter
Because you can only go
Up or down on life’s ladder
On life’s ladder, on life’s ladder

The pain sinks in under your skin
The time ticks past ever so fast
And all you get is a memory to last

You can live but it’s not too much
Now you know what losing does

Listen now if you’ve got a second
Keep reaching till fortune beckons
If you fail, it doesn’t matter
Because you can only go
Up or down on life’s ladder
On life’s ladder, on life’s ladder

Listen now if you’ve got a second
Keep reaching till fortune beckons
If you fail, it doesn’t matter
Because you can only go
Up or down on life’s ladder
On life’s ladder, on life’s ladder

Now you can have no excuse
Cos I’ve just told you the truth

6.SHORT MEDLEY 2
-Imagine (John Lennon)
-Staring At The Sun (U2)
-Suicide Is Painless (Johnny Mandel)
-Live Forever (Noel Gallagher)

January 2020: Unstable Suicide

I wrote this on trams in Warszawa city, Poland. Except for 1440 Faro which I first wrote in 1997 but saved it until I actually visited Egypt in 2019.

1.1440 Faro
2.She Set The Standard High
3.Left Out For A Reason
4.Buy Your Shopping
5.What Number of Year?
6.Sing With Ariana
7.She Didn’t Waken Early Enough to Catch The Morning Sun
8.Idea of a Present
9.Riga’s Not In Barcelona
10.Four Person Banknote Scandal
11.Avid News Watcher
12.Tsuen Wan
13.Uncle Bake

 

1.1440 Faro

1440 Faro on the aeroplane
Went to Cairo
Didn’t see a drop of rain

1440 Faro on the aeroplane
Stole the words from Ceefax or Teletext

King of Pharoah standing on the aeroplane
Do you see though do you see though good

Islands Faroe sailing on a milkboat dream
Plastically McAuley showed us all the might in green

1440 Faro on the aeroplane
Portugalczyk owner of a matchbox car

1440 Faro on the aeroplane
Passenger seat aisle to sandwich parentic

2.She set the standard high

I have hung up my clothes
I did my own washing
I took a photo to prove it to you

I made myself lunch
A concocted salad
I added vinegar using a spoon

Ah but she set the world alight
She made your dreams tonight
She set the standard high
She set the standard high

I booked the train to Saturday street
Sesame seed burger bap bap Maria Belarus

Wooden Hinchcliff
Peter Shirtlift
Didn’t ring the bells of notre dame

Only on vodka
Demon a drink mole
I took more photos of juice

Ah but she set the world alight
She made your dreams tonight
She set the standard high
She set the standard high
She set the standard high
She set the standard high

Wooden Hinchcliff

3.Left Out For A Reason

Day off high school
Left out for a reason

4.Buy Your Shopping

Go to the supermarket and buy your shopping
You are a normal person in a normal boring town

Wake up in the morning and drink a cup of coffee
You are as dull as dulse on Holywood Bay

You’re so thick you ask a monk to buy your toothpaste
You’re so lazy you got a bot to do your shopping

By pressing a few buttons they brung ye a crate of Venezuelan bananas

5.What Number of Year?

In 1982 he’s doing alright
In 1964 he’s walking his dog
In 2009 he’s having a wank
In 1944 he’s burning a tank

In 1955 we’re staying alive
In 2017 sucking off a dream

6.Sing with Ariana

Open up your heart because you dreamt of Ariana
She made the sound of whispers on the moon
Cast your spell upon the curse of Ariana
She wouldn’t like to spoil you very soon

I want to sing with Ariana again.
I’ll never sing with Ariana again.

Clumber down the stairs and wink your eye at Ariana
She got a golden empty walking hum
Tell your friends that you dated Ariana
She made you think that you were in control

I want to sing with Ariana again.
I’ll never sing with Ariana again.

7.She Didn’t Waken Early Enough to Catch The Morning Sun

She didn’t waken early enough to catch the morning sun.
He walked around her looking so tough when the day had just begun

She didn’t even know how to cook a pizza in the oven.
He spoke of the days where he had mistook sadness for having fun.

8.Idea of a Present

I had the chance to change my life
I don’t mean swap, switch, shift it or alter
I came up with the plan to visit Georgia
I hope it will be the next big adventure

My idea of a present seems so warped it made you sexy
A bombscare in a town that loves bombscares

9.Riga’s Not In Barcelona

Riga’s not in Barcelona
Don’t Latvians speak Catalan

He sat down at the bar and poured his heart out onto me
I don’t know why I believed his former girlfriend
She sent a message to him as they had no WiFi
He could only read the bottled whiskey’s tin

Riga’s not in Barcelona
Don’t Latvians speak Catalan?
Kasia’s orange wrong she says “I love you”
I worked extremely hard to be this man

10.Four Person Banknote Scandal

He stole you stole
She forged you forged
Everything in your pocket when they checked was counterfeit

Money laundering scandal sounded like cash in a washing machine
He cleaned you cleaned

11.Avid News Watcher

Some idiot stands at the bar and tells everyone else what is happening in the world.
It is not that he is clever it is just that he is an avid news watcher.

And he knows sure he knows
Yeah he knows what’s going oh hon.

12.Tsuen Wan Loyal

Dancing dancing dolphin
Dancing dancing dolphin
Dancing dancing dolphin in the sea

Danson Danson parkhouse
Danson Danson parkhouse
Danson Danson parkhouse Sladey Green

Dancing dancing dolphin
Dancing dancing dolphin
Dancing dancing dolphin tai wat seen

13.Uncle Bake

We are goin till thon pake
To catch up with Uncle Bake
We are mixing a milkshake
To drink with Uncle Bake
We are frightening a cake
To scare off Uncle Bake
She bate ye with a rake
By the ghost of Uncle Bake

We are money on the make
To waste on Uncle Bake
We are naked in the lake
With the girl from Uncle Bake
We are mouth with a toothache
There’s a dental Uncle Bake
Your banknote is a fake
Call the printer, Uncle Bake
It’s the fisheries best hake
In the bake of Uncle Bake
At the Bar Finnegans Wake
An alcoholic Uncle Bake

Hattrick of legs for Jake
To compete with Uncle Bake
We all got pills to take
Like a drugged up Uncle Bake
Do it for the sake
For the sake of Uncle Bake
Mexico had an earthquake
Hugo Sanchez Uncle Bake
There’s nothing else at stake
Except to bet on Uncle Bake

The tree you thought was oak
Is a crimson Uncle Bake!

The Secret Missing –

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Day off high school